It’s Tuesday afternoon and I’m sitting at my dining room table right now writing this post. As of this morning, I was supposed to be heading to the airport and on my way to LA. In fact, today (Wednesday), I should be at an Albertson’s event meeting
Kelly Kapowski Tiffani Amber Thiessan. But the universe had different plans for me and you know what? I have finally come to terms with it and I’m okay with it.
I am absolutely saddened that I had to cancel my trip to LA and I am absolutely having FOMO that all my friends are at a super swanky event, but when it comes down to it, nothing is worth losing your shit over. Nothing.
Let’s be real and super honest – that event, that PR company, those friends of yours…their world doesn’t stop when yours does. You gotta do what is best for you and your family. That is all you have in the end. The well-being of my family is utmost important and although I’m disappointing a room full of 30+ people for that ONE day, I’d rather do that than disappoint my family for an entire lifetime. It’s not something you can take back and you don’t want to live with regrets.
It’s hard to say no. It really really is. It’s hard to let people down, it’s hard to back out of an event that’s already been paid for, it’s hard making the final decision of basically turning away money. All of it is HARD and there’s no other way to put it. However, listening to your gut is probably the most important lesson I’ve learned from everything in life. You know how when you’re doing a multiple choice test and the teacher always tells you to go with your gut? Do it. Man, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bombed a test because I went against my gut.
You’re probably wondering why I’m even talking about this and where it stems from. Well, something happened to Winston on Sunday night and we still aren’t 100% sure what it is. We gave him his quarterly oral flea/tick medication. That Sunday night, he became suuuuper sleepy. He could barely keep his eyes open. We didn’t think it was medicine related until Monday morning when he wouldn’t come out of his crate. It took him 45 minutes to come out of his crate and when he finally did, he wouldn’t go up/down the stairs, he wouldn’t eat/drink, he wouldn’t move. He would just lie on the floor extremely tired. He didn’t want to play with any of his toys and he wasn’t excited over anything he’d typically be excited about. We thought for certain it was the medication because there was nothing else that it could’ve been. We started doing what you should never do – google diagnosing. Freaked us out and we basically thought our puppy was going to die.
I had to make a decision Monday night on whether to leave for LA on Tuesday or to suck it up and email the PR people and cancel the trip and stay home with Winston to take him to the vet. We already had a pet sitter lined up for the week and it wasn’t possible that Jason could work from home the entire week. You would think the decision would’ve been easy for me to just cancel the trip but my mind was racing. “I’m going to let down so many people,” “I’m sure Winston will be fine…maybe he just needs to play with other dogs to get his energy back up,” “I’m giving up the money I could earn on this trip,” “I want to meet and see new/old blogger friends. They’ll have so much fun without me and I want to be in the land of amazing weather and I just want to be in LA and traveling.”
Looking back on everything I could’ve done, there were some close calls because my decision last night could have affected Winston and our family for a lifetime. Just one little selfish decision could’ve brought me a lifetime of regret.
Because when I took him to the vet on Tuesday morning, while she didn’t want to rule out that his actions were drug-related, she did say we have to take into account his age (puppy eating everything) and also the fact that he is a corgi and maybe something is causing him pain, maybe his back. Something that is causing him pain. That stuck out to us. We went home with no clear direction except to just let him rest and let him be lazy and do his thing within reason.
The more we thought about what the doctor said about pain, the more we realized that it all made sense. He isn’t going up/down the stairs, he isn’t eating, he isn’t playing, he’s limiting his activity, he’s super tired. Now, call this self-diagnosis by process of elimination but we totally think he tweaked his back or something. He’s in pain so he can’t sleep well at night (he loves to sleep on his back and we noticed that he just sleeps on his side now and barely moves) so that explains why he’s SO tired during the day. He won’t play or do anything to exert himself because he’s in pain. When we go pick him up (because he doesn’t want to walk up/down the stairs), we notice he does a low grunt as if he’s holding in the pain and he also curls and cowers a little when we go to pick him up because he’s afraid of the pain.
How would this have brought a lifetime of regret? If I decided to go to LA anyway and have the pet sitter take Winston for three days..do you realize how bad we could’ve ruined his back or how much more pain he would’ve been in? Winston is not one to say no to playing with other dogs. He will go, go, go, so he probably would’ve pushed through the pain, but long-term, it probably would’ve required surgery. Although, we don’t know if this really is what is going on, we are 90% sure it is and we’re going to talk with our vet tomorrow to see if we can get him on muscle relaxants while the little guy heals.
Moral of this long story (and you’re amazing if you made it down this far): you can say no. You can miss out on events. You can have FOMO. You can feel all the feels but in the end, it’s your life and YOU dictate it and don’t ever let anyone or anything make you feel bad about your decisions. You know what’s best for you. No one else.